[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Jeff_The_Killer Insane serial killers with huge smiles watching you sleep?]
[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Slenderman Tall, thin and faceless monsters confusing your sense of height?]
[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Pokemon_Black Keep getting evil childhood games while trying to relieve nostalgia?]
Well fear no more! We are a new government agency specifically designed to detect and destroy every creepypasta known to man! Jeff? No problem! Slenderman? Easy! Zalgo? Maybe... anyways, we are here to protect and serve, [http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Observe_and_Absolve observe and absolve.] Just call us at 1-800-TROLLINMAJOR and we will murder any creepypasta threatening you!